A Fallen Charm
by Earth Firefly
Summary: Rei is in love with a boy she doesn't even know...


A FALLEN CHARM ~ A BISHOUJO SENSHI SAILORMOON FANFIC written by earth firefly-sama 

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Disclaimers: All characters from Sailormoon potrayed here are not mine and never will be, I am sure. I am just playing with them for a little while, and I promise I won't hurt them ^_^. Anyway, don't sue me if you're some guy from Toei or something like that, 'cause I ain't got any money . Enjoy the story. I worked hard for it. 

Light profanity here. Grand total of three words. ^_^ 

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As soon as Rei opened her eyes, she knew she was late for school. But instead of panicking and jumping out of her covers and futon mattress, she just laid there with her eyes fixed on the asbestos ceiling. She sighed. Somehow she didn't feel as if she had the strength to go anywhere today, even though she went to bed very early the night before. She rubbed her sleepy eyes slowly. She hasn't been feeling very energetic for the past few days anyway. 

And now that today was The Day she felt positively lethargic. 

Slowly she slipped out from her reverie and forced herself to the bathroom. She looked down at her toothbrush and squeezed ample amount of the minty paste on the soft bristles that were made to ensure your gums won't get hurt while brushing. *Really*, she thought. *What were those guys thinking?* If the bristles were made any softer she might as well break all her teeth and be toothless for the rest of her life. 

Funny. She was the one who bought the thing in the first place. 

After making sure that her teeth were dazzlingly clean and white and that her hair was in place and not sticking out all over the place, she trudged back to her room and put on her uniform. With a faint smile she ran her hand over the brown material, a wave of nostalgia sweeping over her. She remembered the first day she had entered high school. She was young, definitely, much younger and innocent than she was now. She had ambition, and her confidence was as high as the skies and then some. She was sure that she would get high grades in everything and would be the most popular girl in school, if not the smartest. She knew her limits and understood that she shouldn't push them. Oh, she still had all those things now, but now she wondered if it was worth it. In summary, her life didn't change much. She still wanted to be the Jinja's manager, and maybe she would go into enterprising. But a part of her was gone, she knew, and would probably never come back. Back then she had hope, and now that her senior year was almost over she felt she had none of that left. 

Even that. She felt so empty, inside. 

A sigh escaped her lips. Not for the first time in her life, she felt so unloved. Her mother had died when she was young, and her father was practically a stranger in her life. He had given her away to her ojii-chan soon after her mother's death, most probably because he couldn't bear looking at her without feeling remorse. Rei didn't blame her father, and she still doesn't. But for once in her life she wished that her father would wake up and get a life and come back to her. He purposely kept himself busy with his work so that he needn't see her. 

She missed him. Yeah, even though he had abandoned her. 

She didn't take breakfast, because of more than one reasons. Firstly, she doesn't have an appetite. Secondly, she rarely ate nowadays, but not because she was suffering from anorexia, or something like that. She simply lost all interest in food, altogether. And since she was in a bad mood she supposed it would be a sin to even look at food. 

She stopped walking and looked around her. She was on the Jinja's steps, heading down towards Jyuban street. All of a sudden her heart attempted a somersault, and it felt as though it was trying to break through her ribs. Her nervousness wasn't unusual. She always felt like this every day, every damn school day. When it was the weekend she avoided walking down, afraid to see what she was dying to see. Yeah, she almost laughed at irony of her fear. But as it is, she was very late for school and she couldn't afford to be suspended just when she was about to graduate. 

She took a deep breath and resumed walking. Today is the day. 

The third anniversary of their meeting. 

The first time they had met was by the side of the street, not three feet from where she was standing now. She was just minding her business when he walked by with a group of other guys. She didn't know what happened, but she fell then. Not as in physically, but something big happened to her, and she knew what it was. She fell in love. Hard. 

But he hardly looked at her, save glancing at her and giving her a small smile, out of politeness. She looked at the time and from that day on she made sure she was there at the same time, just to see him. Sometimes he would be with his friends, other times he would be alone. But once, just once, she saw him with a girl, whom she assumed was his girlfriend. But she never saw him with her again, so she deducted that their relationship didn't work out. In fact, now that she was thinking about it, for the past year he was always alone when he walked by this blessed street. 

Rei stopped when she reached the street. To her immense relief and disappointment, she saw no one within the radius of a mile. The street was strangely silent, but since half the city's population had woken up an hour earlier than her, she wasn't that surprised. But still she felt sad, cheated somehow. They were supposed to meet here, like they always do. They had approached each other here, everyday, for the past three years, without fail. Except for the weekends, when she went to great lengths to avoid that street, they saw each other practically every day. It was almost like routine, and to break that routine was like committing a terrible sin against God. She told herself to walk, to just forget about the whole thing. At least she still had school to go to. At the moment she felt like going back to her room. 

Of course, she had also wished that he wouldn't be here. 

He. The love of her life. 

She thought of him as that, as the love of her life. 

Even though they had not spoken a word to each other. Not a word. 

Rei sighed and was about to resume her sad life, when she strode smack into a hard object. She landed on the hard pavement with a thud, and she believed she had hurt herself in places she would not talk about. *What the hell?* she thought. She didn't remember a tree at this very spot. She could walk to school blindfolded for all she cared. 

"Are you all right?" a voice said. Rei looked up and squinted. The owner of the voice had the sun behind his back, and she saw stars that should have disappeared when morning came. She took the offered hand and let herself being pulled up. 

Then she got a good look at him. Oh, God. 

It's Him. With a capital H. She felt like fainting then. 

"Are you all right?" he asked again, concern touching his features. Rei realised that she still hadn't said anything, not even when she had hit the ground. She nodded slowly and blinked at him, feeling as though her voice box had decided to close shop forever. She managed to croak an answer, though. 

"I'm all right." God, how humiliating this is. 

He smiled and brushed back a strand of hair. Rei looked at that strand, knowing that she had dreamed of running her fingers through that black mass of hair so many times for the past three years. But she had to fight with herself not to actually do it; besides he wouldn't appreciate it. Her hand had dirt on it, from the ground. 

"Well, in that case, I'd better get going," he said, stepping out of her way. He hoisted his backpack to a more secure position, and she saw a strand of lint of his shoulder. She moved to brush it away then stopped. No, that wouldn't be proper. They didn't know each other. 

"See ya," she croaked again, and this time she mentally kicked herself. He turned to look at her and flashed a smile that she had seen many times, but had never gotten bored of it. She watched as he disappeared around the corner, gone from her sight. Her initial sadness came back to her with a wham. She realised that she still didn't know his name, but it didn't matter for now. She had heard his koe, his voice, for the very first time in her eighteen years of life. And he had heard hers, but she didn't know whether he realised that tiny fact at all. If he had noticed, she doubted he would even like it. She had sounded like a frog who just had its tonsils taken out. 

She sighed and went back to the Hikawa Jinja. She had no mood for school at all. 

************** 

Two weeks later and a week away from graduation, Rei still hasn't recovered from her foul mood. School had just let out, and her backpack felt as if it had just produced rocks in the last thirty minutes. She couldn't believe that her teacher still gave them homework, the nerve. It was almost the end of school and they still wanted to torture the students. That was one of the reasons why she hated her school. It used to hold such a special place in her heart, but now that she was graduating she supposed she was destined to be a grumpy and cranky old woman who enjoyed doing homework as much as a bench enjoyed being sat on. She almost laughed at the thought. 

She reached the Jinja steps and plopped down on the hard cement. She couldn't care if she was soiling her skirt, and two years ago she would have screamed if she had to sit on a chair that hasn't been cleaned with Lysol. She chuckled at the thought. She was a brat then, a classic pain. But even if she had been a snob and thought that every other living organism was beneath her standards, she had friends. But those friends, where are they now? They had deserted her when she had needed them most, just when she had her first taste of depression. Yeah, she read somewhere that almost all teenagers go through a period of depression, and that family support and friends were important to help these very teenagers to gain strength to get on with life. But she had none of these, and it was largely through her own fault. 

Even Usagi. Her beloved Usagi. She had pushed away her best friend in the world, even though the kawaii bunny had implored her to let her help her. 

And now they wisely stayed away, knowing that she wanted to be alone. But at the same time she hated the solitude, the kodoku. She contradicted herself all the time. 

She broke down then. She felt so sad, she just had to let it go. She didn't care if people were staring, what do they care anyway? All they could do was look and walk away, afraid that if they approach her she might lash out and hurt them. Yes, she could see all these emotions, but like she said, she didn't care. No one bothered to comfort her, not one caring soul. Her heart felt as though it was bleeding, and she believed it was. Three years ago she had dreams, but now they were gone like dust blown away by the wind. She wondered where they went, when things had gone wrong. How she had messed up her life. Is it because of her father? She didn't think so. He hardly ever sees her anymore. Is it because of school? She didn't know. Is it because she used to have so much love and had given it all away, but not getting the same thing in return? She didn't know the answer to that either. 

More tears. She had so much of them. 

She knew there was someone sitting beside her even without looking. She could sense presences, after all, but she didn't turn to see who it was. She kept on crying, making a mess of herself and a fool of herself. If it was Usagi, she was strangely silent, very unlike her noisy self. It couldn't be ojii-chan. He would have announced his presence a mile away. If it was Yuicchirou, she would have smelt his shampoo. After about ten more minutes of sobbing and sniffing, she wiped at her tears and looked up. 

"Are you done?" 

She felt like crying again. It was him, the love of her life. She had to stop thinking of him as that. It was bad for her depression. Even though he was sitting on the steps beside her, she still had to look up to him, he was that tall. Her eyes widened and she could feel hot tears welling up at the corners of her eyes again. God, she was such a crybaby today. "It's you," she said in bewilderment. 

"Yeah, it's me," he said. He looked at her closely, probably worried if he should start a conversation. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a handkerchief. "Here," he offered. 

"Thanks," Rei mumbled. She blew her nose into his handkerchief. She did it so loud she knew that he was disgusted at her. What a wonderful way to start a relationship. 

"Are you all right? I could go away if you want," he said. Rei shook her head, not sure if she was shaking her head to his question or to the offer he had just made. She sniffed. "I'm all right." Again she croaked. 

He smiled at her, but she didn't smile back. She couldn't force her muscles to do so this time, she had been forcing them to do things they didn't want to do for the past three years. She noticed how close they were sitting to each other, almost as if they had known each other for years and that they were more than friends. Rei sniffed again. She looked at the high cement wall to her right, searching the ivy for microorganisms. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked softly beside her. 

She turned to look at him and smiled faintly. She knew it looked more like a grimace. She wet her dry lips and felt tired all of a sudden. "But I don't even know you." 

He smiled, and from the way he smiled it was as though he didn't even see her crying just two minutes ago. For that small gesture she was glad. She wasn't sure why. He extended his hand to her. "Then let me introduce myself. I am Takujiro Kazuo, a senior at Jyuban High, about to graduate in a week's time. And you are?" 

Rei weakly accepted his hand. "Hino Rei. Senior at T.A Academy for Girls. About to graduate too." Simple and stupid. Short and pathetic. 

"Well, Hino-san, you seem like you need someone to talk to. Since we're the only ones here, it might as well be me," Kazuo said. 

"You're very bold you know that?" Rei said, amazed. Here she was, talking to the main source of her pain, and yet she found that she was enjoying it. It was just as well that he came when he did. She didn't know what she would have done. The thought of suicide had passed her thoughts a few times, but she didn't think of herself as a suicidal person. Often she would find comfort in her fire. 

But she was worried that one day she will stick her hand in the fire and then suddenly find herself engulfed in flames. 

She hadn't consulted her fire in a month, for that reason. 

Kazuo chuckled. "I don't think so. We've been seeing each other at this street for quite some time now." He paused and looked at Rei. "I wonder why we never spoke to each other before." 

Boy, did she feel the same way. "I noticed." 

"Come on," he said, standing up. Rei looked up, startled, and accepted his hand. He pulled her up easily, as though she was as light as a feather. They came to within inches of each other, and she wondered if Kazuo could see her flaming cheeks. Her tears had practically vaporised because of the heat. She chuckled softly to her self. Her sense of humour was back, and she missed it. 

"Let's go to the park," he said. "You might feel better after going there." 

"You mean I might feel better after looking at a bunch of stupid ducks swimming around in a small pond?" she asked. He smiled at her and she returned the gesture. "I don't know, Takujiro-san, I don't even you." What was wrong with her? Leave it to her to spoil her happiest moment of her life. 

He waved at her, as if brushing the remark away. "Call me Kazuo." He paused as he did earlier and this time his look was practically burning a hole between her eyes. "I won't make you promise anything, Hino-san. You don't have to feel indebted to me, or anything. I just want to take you to the park." 

Rei blinked at him, slightly surprised. But another emotion played around in her heart, and she wasn't sure if it was joy. It sure did feel weird, though. She hadn't felt it in a while. "All right, Kazuo." 

**************** 

By the time the week was over, Kazuo had known all of her history, from the time she discovered that she was a senshi up to the present time. She trusted Kazuo with the knowledge. But she didn't exactly tell him everything. She conveniently left out the part where she had fallen in love. Fallen for him, to be exact. And from the way he acted around her, Rei gathered that he didn't share the same feelings. It was just as well. It would be asking too much of God if she were to ask for his love. She was happy just talking to him. 

On the day of her graduation, she waited at the Jinja steps for him. She couldn't care if she was late for school, the hell with what the teachers think. She didn't have to wait long. He appeared in front of her, without her noticing it, but that was usual with Kazuo. She didn't question about it too much. It was his nature. 

But Kazuo didn't have his usual smile on. Rei knew that he wanted to talk to her. And that she might not like what he had to say. 

"Rei," he said, his dark eyes revealing no emotion. "We have to talk." 

They went to the park, where he had first taken her a few days ago. A lot had happened between them during that time. She refused to think of it as a date, although it had seemed very much like one. Kazuo was like a friend to her, and even though it wasn't enough, she had to be content. But with every passing day she found that she wanted him more than anything else. She wanted him bad, and that is the understatement of the year. 

Greed. Human's most despised trait. 

Kazuo was silent as he threw pieces of bread that he brought with him to the ducks. The ducks quacked as they pecked at the bread. Rei stood beside him, Kazuo leaning against the bridge's railing. She didn't have to wait long. 

"I guess by now you should know how I feel about you," Kazuo said softly, uncertainty tainting his sweet voice. Rei didn't speak. "I've wanted to know you for so long, you know that?" 

Rei nodded, more to herself than to him. "Yes, I do." He just wanted to know her, that is all. He didn't want to love her. Yes, that's it. 

"For the past three years," Kazuo continued, his gaze taking a faraway look. "We've passed each other on the same street, at the same time, almost at the same spot. I still remember when I first saw you." He smiled and looked at her. "I thought you were the neatest girl I ever saw." 

Rei's face fell, even though she had expected him to say that. Neatest girl he had ever saw. She almost laughed out loud. 

Kazuo returned his eyes to the ducks. "But as time passed by, I realised that you were more than neat. You were unique. You were cute. After a while, I thought you were pretty." He paused and threw another piece a bread. "But now I think you are beautiful." 

Rei had to take a breath. This is all so weird. 

"I realised that I was drawn to you. I used to date a girl from Jyuban High, but we broke up because obviously my attention was somewhere else. I even ditched my friends on the way to school, hoping that when we stumble each other, we would be alone. But everytime I had that chance, my fear would overwhelm me and I would chicken out. I was afraid that you would not want me around, 'cause you were always with your friends whenever you're not walking down that street. Yes, Rei, I followed you around town on a few occasions. Don't look so shocked, Rei. I thought you knew." 

Rei's eyes were wide. She shook her head. "No, I didn't know." 

Kazuo smiled at the water. "But for the past few months, I noticed that you don't go out much anymore. I wondered why. I even thought of asking you a number of times. But what was I thinking? We're not even of speaking terms! But my hope returned when you walked smack into me last week. I don't know what happened, but suddenly I had courage. Maybe it's because we're about to stop going to high school. I knew I had to tell you before it's too late." 

Rei had to remind herself to breathe. "Tell me what?" 

Kazuo turned and touched her face. He had never touched her before, and Rei felt as though he had the ability to caress her very soul just with his beautiful eyes. Kazuo ran a thumb over her cheek. "And last week, I fell for you even more, and it was more than a physical attraction. I knew that I couldn't back out now, not when I was so close." 

Rei looked down at the ground. That was the neat thing about the ground. It was always there when you don't want to look at the face of a boy whom you had fallen madly in love with. She exhaled slowly. Fell for her? What is he saying? Is he saying what she was thinking? 

She still wasn't sure. "I don't understand," 

"Of course you do, Rei," Kazuo said, his hand resting on her shoulder. "You know what I am trying to say to you." 

She felt her lips quiver. "Tell me," she whispered. 

Kazuo didn't say anything for a grand total of two seconds. She counted. He pulled her closer and whispered in her ear. "I love you, Rei. I always have. And I always will." 

Rei looked up and threw her arms around his neck, catching him by surprise. Obviously he didn't expect that kind of reaction. She pulled back and wiped at the tears which had mysteriously appeared. "I'm sorry," she said. 

"That wasn't what I expected," Kazuo said, smiling goofily. 

Rei laughed. "You are one idiot if I ever knew one." 

"What do you mean?" he asked, confused. 

She laughed again. "You're an idiot because you have to love me. I am like you said, beautiful. Heck, I might even be your flaming goddess! I know you can't live without me, you said as much. And you know what? I can't live without you too! Surprise, ne? You didn't think I felt the same way, right? I thought I had been living in hell for the past three years, but it looks like I wasn't the only one! We are two pathetic souls, made for each other. And besides, I didn't walk smack into you. You walked over me. It was all your fault. Yeah, you are to be blamed. And guess what, you can love me all you want. 'Cause why?" she paused to take a breath. "Because I love you too." 

That was all that he needed. He leaned down and kissed her, and the pain that she had went through for the past three years were nothing compared to the joy that she felt in the depths of her heart. It almost felt as if it was worth it. And it is. 

"I love you," she whispered through her tears. But this time she cried not in pain. 

"You're the best," Kazuo said, still holding her close. 

"Better than the rest," she agreed. 

She felt so happy she felt like touching the skies, and then some. 

I guess this is the end. 

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Author's notes : I made this fic based on Rei's monologue from the Stars Album. I am not sure of the name. In the monologue, Rei often saw this boy in front of the Jinja before going to school, but he never noticed her. One day, he dropped a charm and she picked it up for him, but she split before he could say anything. From that time on, she watched him from afar, never knowing his name, never hearing his voice, never seeing his face. She only looked at him from behind. But one day she saw him offering a charm to a cute, pink-ribboned girl, and Rei's hope totally went out the window. I really felt for her then. You should check out her monologue. It's really something. 


End file.
